I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
