Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
