Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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