You're so nebulous sometimes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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