Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
