woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
