Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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