I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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