Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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