You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
