He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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