You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
