dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
