He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She bit a glass in half.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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