doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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