yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
