Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
