I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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