I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
