Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
