Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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