Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
