So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
