Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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