That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
