So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
