just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
