just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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