Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize