Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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