careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
