Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
