My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize