...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
