Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize