So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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