This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
