I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I believe in your delicious
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
