Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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