Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
