Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
