we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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