So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And then he peed in my hair
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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