Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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