WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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