So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
