new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
