Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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