i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize