A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
