a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have feelings that need drinking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
