Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just pee around me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
