somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize