I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
