i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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