she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
