I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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