I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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