Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
