I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
