i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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