ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
