what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
