Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You don't make any sense
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