The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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