I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
