I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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